The Vig Chron

If I have offended you, you're quite welcome.

2/11/2005

Drugged and Bored

I have grown tired of these headaches. This sweet batch of brain busters started yesterday morning. I went to work, suffered for about 4 hours and went home. I was feeling much relieved yesterday after some Excedrin and relaxation. Then I awoke around 4am and was not so happy to add stomach aches to my growing list of bodily complaints. So I am home, guiltily, as I know work is piling on my desk and Allen is grumbling under his breath. But, alas, I have a party tomorrow and I WILL be 100% well. I hate to sound 'woe is me' but this is my blog and I feel the need to rant.

So, where shall I begin to unload this stressful shitstorm? Ah, yes...

It's the middle of February and the college doesn't have my transcripts, I have to apply for new Social Security card before I can complete FAFSA, I have to file tax returns before I can complete FAFSA, I have to pay state taxes before I can file returns, I owe a car payment, the power bill is due, the tires are ready to pop, my job sucks, my cat needs his balls removed, I'm sexually frustrated, you didn't need to know that, my best friend deserted me, big shocker, I had another nightmare, I smoke a pack a day, I'm out of TP right now, I can't help but wonder If I'm getting in, where will I work, where will we live, does anyone actually believe I can do this, why didn't my aunts or grandmother wish me happy birthday, why do I have to get old, I have to get my CVCC transcripts, I had bad grades there, I have writer's block, I wish more than anything that I could go back to 11th grade and start over...completely, I look at too much porn, I'm lazy, I procrastinate, I lie, I'm in denial about depression, I can't talk to anyone honestly, I hold back, I give in, I'm smarter than I show, I keep a real journal hidden...shouldn't have said that, I could start walking and never look back, I'm weaker than most think, I'm uglier than everyone says I am, I have too many crushes, my tattoo is fading..like my sanity, I wish dreadful things on people, I hate more people than I like, I'm perpetually bored, I'm not as mean as I wish I were, I'm a fat ass, I know more about the dark arts than I should...thanks Amanda, I'm secretly vendictive, my head hurts, I'm pushing away...and I like it, I hide more of my true feelings than anyone could possibly believe.

Right then.
Sorry you had to hear that, but someone has to...might as well be a computer.

Locks the door, and throws away the key.


2/04/2005

Music To My Ears

I've discovered a wonderful new sound...love metal.
This is a new concept to me.
Particularly in the guise of H.I.M.

The abnormal blend of subdued metal and obsessive poetry.
Sort of Jim Morrison meets Lestat.
Very gothic, but morbidly romantic.

Perhaps I'm slightly entranced by it because I can't stop listening.

I'm sure the underground toadies have know about them for years, but they've finally merged to the surface so the rest of the world can have a glance. I suppose that's thanks to Bam.

In so far as I know, the symbolic heartagram has no official meaning to anyone other than the band members. At least there seems to be no folkloric use for it. But I suppose it carries many meanings...considering H.I.M. stands for His Infernal Majesty.

But, it certainly makes a damn fine tattoo.





My New Obsession

I hate to admit defeat, but I've given in to the dark side...
Officially, I declare my obsession with the Harry Potter movies. I know, I know...

What facinates me, is the creativity of J.K. Rowling's world. Reminds me of Tolkien. I wish I had the imagination to create a world from scratch. Now she draws from folklore and legend, of course, and subjects already tapped, but she adds the element of possibility. I suppose deep down I could imagine such a school exists.
In some form.

I love the movies tremendously and I've watched them repeatedly. I've just finished reading Blood and Gold by Anne Rice (quite literally just finished, before I started writing this) and I believe I shall start reading the series of Harry Potter books. I like that her works are ageless. Children and adults alike are enchanted by them.

It's difficult to find a good series these days. But this should prove to be a happy new chapter of reading.

I solemnly swear that I am up to no good.